


Like It's Her Birthday

by BadAsp



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Deliberate Badfic, Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 16:48:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadAsp/pseuds/BadAsp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would happen if Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way had a birthday?  Well, THIS.  A fan short story based on the classic badfic "My Immortal"!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like It's Her Birthday

WARNING: The following is a fan follow-up to the classic "My Immortal". You do not need to take this fic seriously. Because, let's face it... when has Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way EVER been taken seriously?

\- - -

Like It's Her Birthday

AN: dis story cud b my bets work yet, and i rote it 4 da TRU GOFFS ONLY!!!!1 so if ur a prep then FUK OF!!!!11 i dont want to c ne mor flamz frum u fukin prepz!!!!!111 btw fangz 2 raven 4 da help wif da story!!!1 mcr rox!1111

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had been a hole year since i defeated Volcemort and saved Hogwarts from his prep influence. B'loody Mary and Willow congradulated me on my achiefment. "You were really kawaii, gurl," B'loody Mary said to me in Japanese. "Fangz," I sed back 2 her sexily.

"Btw do u no wut toromow iz?" I asked.

"What?" the girls said.

"Tomorrow is my 16th birfday!" I executed.

"Hajimemashite, Ebony," Willow said to me, congratulating me in Japanese.

"And I also found out what else takes place tomorrow," B'loddy Mary told me.

"What?" I axed.

"Tomorrow MCR is having a concert in Hogsmeade," B'loody Mary explaned.

OH. MY. SATAN. My Chemical Romance, my favoritest goff band in the whole world, wood b playing in Hogsmeade. I was so exsighted.

"They are having a raffle in the Grate Hall, and whoever has the winning ticket gets 2 c MCR 4 free," Willow told me sexily.

"And that is gong 2 b ME!" Britney, a bitch who wears pink, said as she entered. She's a prep who always wears pink and lizzens 2 manufactored shit like Justin Beaver and Hanna Montanna. GOD I FUCKING H8 BRITNEY. I wish she would just commit suicide by slitting her wrists already. I hate that bitch.

I put up my middle finger at her, and me and the otters went to class. During class I was too busy finking about the concert to think about my studies.

The next mourning (geddit, becoz im goffik), I got out of my coffin and began to get dressed. I put on a black leather miniskirt with black fishnets, black combat boots, and a dress like the one Amy Lee wears in that one video called Call Me When Ur Sober (if u dont no what im talking about get da fuk out of hr!). I wore some white foundation, blak ishadow, red nail polish, and black lipstack. I went to da Great Hole, eaglely aw8ing da results of da waffle. Professor Sinister was there, pulling out a ticket from like millions of them in a glass ball.

"And da winning ticket no is..." Professor Trevolry announced to the students. "040977!"

OMFG that is like my winning ticket number! I had won da ruffle! Britney was angry because she had lost because SHE is the loser in real life, regardless of what she and the other fucking preps say about us goffs.

Since I had won tickets to da concert, I had decided I was gong 2 b the pettiest Ive ever bin. I put on a black T-shirt that said "666" on the butt, and a black corset with black Vans. I wore ten pairs of pentagram earrings and a skull necklace I bought at Hot Topic. I wore purple lipstick and red lip gloss. I even died my hair black. I took out a razor and slit both of my wrists. I decided to invite the other members of Bloody Goffik Rose 666 (Draco, Vampire, Hargrid, Willow, and B'loody Mary) and we all went sexily in Draco's flying car to Hogsmeade.

The concert was my best birthday present ever! I moshed 2 MCR while I drank some blood from a bottle. "She's so wasted, acting crazy, making a scene, like it's her birthday," the members of MCR sang in their sexah voices (an: I dont own da lyrics 2 dat song so FUK U!!!1). Then...

MCR had a surprise 4 me. "ENOBY PLS CUM ON2 DA STAGE!!!!1" Gerard shooted. I did so excitedly.

Gerard was very sexy up close. He looked just like Gerard Way. He is very hawt and he was hung like a hearse. (lol I sed hearse becuz im a goff) He swore a blak T-shit that had a burning skull on the front, and was wearing blak iliner. Mikey Ray, and Frank were dressed similarly. They were all so hot, they could have given me an eruption (an: im a gurl so i dont get those fings u sick prepz!)

After the song ended, Gerard said, "Would you like our autograff?"

"I would love too!" I shooted sexily.

Gerald autografted my Get Ur Heart On CD I bought at Hot Topic. It is my favorite MCR CD in the world because of the song Smells Like Children is on it.

Suddenly...

A bad guy with no nose and a black coke appearated on2 da stage. He had no nose (like Volemort from Sorcerer's Stone) and he flew in on his boomstick. It was... VOLDEMONT!!!1111

"Evony I told thou to killeth Vampire!" Voldemrot shooted angrily. "Now thou must dye!"

He pulled out his wang and made black smoke appear, and then he grabed me! (an: ther r many meen pedofilez that do stuff lik dis so if u c 1 then call da police!)

"WHAT DA FUCK R U DONG 2 EBONY?" Draco creamed. Draco looked just like Gerard Way.

An then... Voldemnort took of all my cloves, and he took out a cideo camra and was TAPING ME NAKED! And then he put his hands all over his coccyx! We could see some white stuff come out of his u-know-wut!

So I figgered... as long as I was naked...

I took of Draco's close and then we had sex in front of Voldemot. Draco put his man parts in2 mine, and I put mine in2 his. It was da best fucking night evar lol.

Then the police came. "U r under arrest 4 being a prep," the policeman said to Voldemory. They put handcuffs on him and sent him to Azerbaijan wif Britney.

Suddenly Vampire came over 2 me.

"Are you OK?" Vampire asked. He looked just like Gerard Way.

"Yes," I replied sadly. "Now that I'm naked, do you still think I'm petty?"

"Yes," Harry responded. "U r very petty."

"Kawaii!" I exclamed, and rapped my arms around Vampire. We continued haveing fun at da concert while Gerard sang "I Bought You My Bullets, You Bought Me Your Love" from there "Fang U 4 Da Venom" album (an: raven fangz 4 suggesting dat song!), and we moshed 2 da musik and smoked cigaretes and crak. We even played at da concert 2, and so did XBlackXTearX. The concert was so sexy I didn't want it 2 end. I wanted it 2 go on 4ever!!!!1111


End file.
